« jamais-vu »

…

Wouldn’t it be grand if you could coin a new phrase?
Brand s p a n k i n’ new, thanksverymuch.

It’d really have to be « jamais-vu », the antiterm to the overused «déjà-vu».

Quickly, déjà-vu simply the French for ‘already-seen’.

Now, « jamais-vu » would naturally then be ‘never-seen’ – it’s that little buzz of a fade feeling you thought you’ve seen, done, experienced, but you actually haven’t.

Un example? Mais oui mon grand, bien sûr.

As I work for the state government, I get to liaise with our schools state-wide, and the that goes to hundreds. Had this super sick, bizarre call, a school caretaker rang me this arvo. I asked how I could help.

─You never got back to me.

Errrr … on what? When did I say that? You sure it was me?

─When I talked with you last time. I got a letter from you. Rang you and you said you’d get back to me.
And off he went telling me how he feels, what he thought of my work …

Now, at this point, I honestly believe my brain was faltering. I racked my poor brain, have yet to regain the recollection of speaking with this bloke. Boh … so I apologised, Listen Ian I’m sorry I can’t say I remember promising you what you told me and I can’t justify why I didn’t get back to you sooner. I’m really sorry okay.

Alrighty, so that was one upset school staff. Thanks to senile me.

It bothered me heaps over lunch, my fiercely hot “fried fettucine with tuna” tasted bland rather as a consequence. So I promised I’d call a “client” back but I failed. Until four weeks later. Now, that’s really shit. In his shoe, I’d do the same.

Something isn’t right, so I spoke with my senior who initially took the call and forwarded it to me. The wise man said, yea I’ve spoken with him but I’ve explained him what he needed to do.

The penny dropped. Pinggg!

Finalmente, eccolo. The missing link: it wasn’t moi. I never made the promise I chucked outside the window. And the horrible state I had to go through, the what-was-that-for-anyway apology I delivered that could have seen me awarded with best supporting actor.

It was all a « jamais-vu »; I thought I did it, but nah I fooking didn’t.